Motherhood Motivations

I’m linking up with some sweet moms to talk about our motivators. Check out the links to their blogs at the bottom of my post. 

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As much as I hate to admit it, I think that motherhood can get pretty lonely.

On paper, it doesn’t look like it should be. As a mother, I have two other people with me all the time. These people love me and want to be on around me constantly. I share my meals and run all of my errands with them. We play and workout as a team. We are always together. Around 4 o’clock, Dad comes home and then it’s the four of us. Playing and walking and eating and laughing. We love each other. We have fun together. We have a strong family unit. 

But I still get lonely. 

Maybe it’s the lack of “adult” conversation. Most of my days are spent explaining things at a toddler level. I’ve adopted some of my favorite Lyla language – like “gulk gulk” for milk and “oh boy!” for Mickey Mouse. 

Maybe it’s the lack of alone time with my husband. I love when he’s home. Not just for the extra helping hands or for the (interrupted) adult conversation. I love when he’s home simply because I love him. As soon as he walks in the door, I long to just be with him. To curl up on the couch and watch one of our favorite shows together, to walk down to the beach hand-in-hand, to just be together. But, lately, our TV is usually tuned to some animated show and our hands are full of babies instead of each other’s. 

Whatever the reason, it’s there, and I’m sure that I’m not the only mom who feels it.

I’m also sure that I’m not the only mom who feels guilty for feeling this way. 

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Marrying Alex was the best decision I have ever made. Our two children bring me so much joy its inexplicable. I feel incredibly grateful everyday that I am able to stay home full time to take care of our babies. I love the life that we have built together. I love the season of life that we are in. I’m happy. 

Loneliness shouldn’t have a place in my world but, unfortunately, it finds a way to sneak in every once in a while and put me into a funk. 

When things get a little funky, Alex is great at helping me see the other side. He is patient and up-lifting. He picks up my slack without being asked. He’s a true partner. Through his actions, he reminds me of what is important. 

All too soon, “gulk gulk” will be a thing of the past and I will be having “adult” conversations with her. Our babies will be too big to be carried, leaving our hands free for holding (and, you know, wiping away our tears). 

As much as the loneliness isn’t welcome or appreciated, I know that it’s a part of motherhood. Without it, motherhood just wouldn’t be the same. Motherhood is an all consuming change-your-life-in-ways-you-didn’t-know-it-could-change kind of job. It’s a job that I will have for the rest of my life, so I want to make sure I give it my best shot.

I want my children to be happy.

I want my children to be well-adjusted. 

I want my children to be kind.

I want my children to be hard workers. 

I want my children to have empathy.

I want my children to have a relationship with the Lord. 

I want my children to have dreams. 

I want my children to have passion. 

I want my children to feel safe. 

I want my children to feel supported. 

I want my children to know my love. 

Lyla and Simon (and Alex!) are my motivators. I am forever grateful for them. 

Lisa W. | Alexis | Lindsey | Farrah | Tiffany |Heather | Katie 

 

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Motherhood Mindset

I’m joining some wonderful ladies for Motherhood Monday. Today’s topic is Motherhood Mindset. I’ll share the links to their posts below. Enjoy!

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Once upon a time, in a land not to far away, there was a young girl. She was organized. Each day she created for herself a list of tasks and she made sure to always get every item crossed off before the day was done. She loved to cook elaborate meals. She loved to read and would fly through books with ease. 

Fast forward a few years to today. That girl has added a dog, husband and two kids to her world. She is way less organized. To-do lists are scattered around the house, all containing a note at the bottom to consolidate her lists. She still loves to cook, but has traded exotic meals for those that are kid-friendly (and that can be cooked with one hand). It now takes her weeks to get through a book, as she only is able to squeeze in a few pages before falling asleep.

[that girl is me]

Before having kids, I had all sorts of ideas of what kind of mother I would be. And, despite what experienced moms told me, I was confident that I would be able to do it all. My house was going to stay clean. I was going to have time to make exciting, healthy meals every night. I wasn’t going to have to give up things that I loved. 

Of course, it hasn’t turned out that way. Motherhood is messy. It’s busy. I don’t have a lot of time to myself. When it was just Lyla, I was better at staying on top of things (despite her awful sleeping patterns) but, since adding Simon Earl to our worlds, I’m still working on finding a schedule that works for us. 

The old me would be horrified at how high the laundry piles up some weeks. The chaos of toys and things scattered around the house would drive her crazy. 

Ninety percent of the time, I would say that the old me is gone. That I have fully embraced the new level of craziness that is my life. But, sometimes, my old mindset tries to creep in and stress me out. But, when that happens, I try to slow down and just absorb where I’m at now. I have a wonderful, loving, supportive husband. I have two healthy and happy children. I live in a beautiful place. Life is so, so good. Never ending to-do lists and all. 

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[Lisa W.][Alexis][Amber Marie][Lindsey] [Christy][Racheal][Amber Joy][Amanda][Lisa B.][Tiffany][Katie][Heather]

 

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Mom Guilt

I had time to make, eat and clean up my lunch yesterday. Without interruption. (thanks, synchronized nap times) 

A healthy lunch, prepared by me, all for me. With no little fingers digging in. I couldn’t help but laugh at how excited I was.

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And then I instantly felt guilty for loving it so much. 

Writing that down feels silly. Feeling guilty for eating lunch alone. Ridiculous, right?

Yes. Totally… unless you’re a mom.

Because that mom guilt you always hear about? It is real, y’all. 

I feel guilty all the time.

Guilty for wanting a break at the end of the day. Guilty for leaving Simon during the week to take his sister to swim class. Guilty for spending time setting up a nursery for Lyla before she was born and just putting a borrowed rocker in our room for Simon. Guilty for comparing the two of them. Guilty for daydreaming about future babies. 

And if I’m not feeling guilty about something, I’m just straight up worrying. 

Is Simon being stimulated enough? Am I giving Lyla enough one on one time? Have I given Lyla too many snacks today? Have we watched Cinderella too many times? Am I paying enough attention to Simon? Am I giving Alex enough attention when he comes home?

It never ends. This isn’t a complaint, just an observation. 

Motherhood is challenging. It’s heartbreaking. It’s guilt inducing. It’s surprising. It’s all encompassing. It’s wonderful. It’s enriching. It’s so much fun. 

I love it. 

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