I’m linking up with some sweet moms to talk about our motivators. Check out the links to their blogs at the bottom of my post.
As much as I hate to admit it, I think that motherhood can get pretty lonely.
On paper, it doesn’t look like it should be. As a mother, I have two other people with me all the time. These people love me and want to be
on around me constantly. I share my meals and run all of my errands with them. We play and workout as a team. We are always together. Around 4 o’clock, Dad comes home and then it’s the four of us. Playing and walking and eating and laughing. We love each other. We have fun together. We have a strong family unit.
But I still get lonely.
Maybe it’s the lack of “adult” conversation. Most of my days are spent explaining things at a toddler level. I’ve adopted some of my favorite Lyla language – like “gulk gulk” for milk and “oh boy!” for Mickey Mouse.
Maybe it’s the lack of alone time with my husband. I love when he’s home. Not just for the extra helping hands or for the (interrupted) adult conversation. I love when he’s home simply because I love him. As soon as he walks in the door, I long to just be with him. To curl up on the couch and watch one of our favorite shows together, to walk down to the beach hand-in-hand, to just be together. But, lately, our TV is usually tuned to some animated show and our hands are full of babies instead of each other’s.
Whatever the reason, it’s there, and I’m sure that I’m not the only mom who feels it.
I’m also sure that I’m not the only mom who feels guilty for feeling this way.
Marrying Alex was the best decision I have ever made. Our two children bring me so much joy its inexplicable. I feel incredibly grateful everyday that I am able to stay home full time to take care of our babies. I love the life that we have built together. I love the season of life that we are in. I’m happy.
Loneliness shouldn’t have a place in my world but, unfortunately, it finds a way to sneak in every once in a while and put me into a funk.
When things get a little funky, Alex is great at helping me see the other side. He is patient and up-lifting. He picks up my slack without being asked. He’s a true partner. Through his actions, he reminds me of what is important.
All too soon, “gulk gulk” will be a thing of the past and I will be having “adult” conversations with her. Our babies will be too big to be carried, leaving our hands free for holding (and, you know, wiping away our tears).
As much as the loneliness isn’t welcome or appreciated, I know that it’s a part of motherhood. Without it, motherhood just wouldn’t be the same. Motherhood is an all consuming change-your-life-in-ways-you-didn’t-know-it-could-change kind of job. It’s a job that I will have for the rest of my life, so I want to make sure I give it my best shot.
I want my children to be happy.
I want my children to be well-adjusted.
I want my children to be kind.
I want my children to be hard workers.
I want my children to have empathy.
I want my children to have a relationship with the Lord.
I want my children to have dreams.
I want my children to have passion.
I want my children to feel safe.
I want my children to feel supported.
I want my children to know my love.
Lyla and Simon (and Alex!) are my motivators. I am forever grateful for them.