Over the past year, God has been showing himself to me big time. His word has come ALIVE to me as it never has before. His presence and goodness is so obvious to me in every aspect of my life. It is glorious and exciting… and a tad bit overwhelming.
I feel like my mindset, values and beliefs are very different than most of my peers (based on what they choose to share on social media, anyway). Every day, I scroll through social media and am so disheartened by the things that I see. Anger, hatred, gossip, murder, abortion, broken families, etc. On a lot of seemingly polarizing subjects, I hold the seemingly unpopular opinion. Because of my fear of confrontation and my weird desire to be approved of, I don’t share. I take a step back. I stay quiet. I dim my light.
I hate how that makes me feel. As believers we are called to reflect the light of Christ, not hide it.
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14- 16 (NIV)
God wants me to make a change.
He started whispering this on my heart last year when I was in the hospital.
But I was “busy”. I had a newborn. And two toddlers. And a husband. And a move across the ocean to coordinate. And a home to take care of. And and and… (insert eye roll here)
I turned up the volume of the world and pushed his voice to the side.
But, being the loving, patient God that he is, he just kept on whispering. (And when that didn’t work, I think he just walked over and hit “mute” because I hear him loud and clear now haha)
He wants me to make a change. To shine my light. To use my gifts.
I’ve figured out that part, but I’m not entirely sure on how it will look yet.
My faith walk has always been pretty private- I’m not ashamed to admit that I am a believer but I’ve never really been one to shout it from the rooftops either.
I’m not totally confident in my biblical knowledge (my husband on the other hand is so great at this, I have a lot to learn from him!) I definitely don’t feel like any sort of authority when it comes to the Bible.
A people-pleaser by nature, I hate confrontation and care way too much about what people think about me…and my kids…and my family. So taking this step, writing this post, hitting “publish” is a little terrifying to me.
But I’m learning that it’s ok.
God meets us where we are.
I’m finding a new freedom in just being me. I’m not perfect. I don’t have all of the answers. But I do know what I believe, what values are important to our family, and how we want to raise our kids.
And really, it’s not all about me.
I’m here to boast less about myself and more about Him.
To answer a call that’s been in the works for a year.
To show that the gospel is real and true.
To shine a light on the world because, let’s face it, this world is a dark place and we so desperately need the light that God provides.
“…in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:6 (NIV)